What is life story work? A plain guide for foster carers

If you foster, you'll hear the phrase "life story work" sooner or later. It sounds formal, and in some ways it is. But a lot of what it asks of foster carers is simple, and it matters more than most of us realise.

What it is

Life story work is the work done to help a child in care understand their own history: where they come from, who has looked after them and why things happened the way they did. For a child who has moved between homes, the story can be full of gaps, and those gaps can be painful. Good life story work helps to fill them with honest, age-appropriate information, kindly told.

Who does it

Life story work is usually led by the child's social worker or another professional, with the child, over time. They may put together a life story book. Each fostering service has its own approach, so ask your supervising social worker how it works where you are.

Where foster carers come in

Foster carers don't normally do the whole thing, but you hold a part nobody else can. You see the everyday life of the child in your home. Services often ask carers to:

• Keep memories from the child's time with you: photos, milestones, school papers and things they made
• Make a life story book of their time in your home, in your words
• Collect letters and photographs so they can be included in the child's life story record
• Pass it on when the child moves

This is guidance that fostering services publish in their own procedures, so check what yours expects.

What helps most

The things that help are rarely dramatic.

• Captioned photos. Who, where and when, so they make sense years later.
• The everyday details. Favourite foods, bedtime routines, friends' names and funny things they said.
• Letters written at the time. A weekly or monthly letter, in your own words, captures what a normal week was like.
• Honest, kind language. Describe what happened rather than labelling, and speak respectfully of the child's family.

We've gone into each of these: what foster carers can keep for a child's life story, how to write a weekly letter and a simple letter template.

What to be careful about

• Follow your service's rules. They'll tell you what to keep, how to store photos and what can be shared.
• Don't say more than you've been told to. Life story conversations are led by the child's social worker, so check before explaining things to the child yourself.
• Protect other people's privacy. Be careful with other children's photos and details.
• Be kind about difficult parts. Keep to facts and avoid blame.

When the child moves on

Keepsakes should go with the child, along with a letter that explains your time together. Writing an ending letter covers how.

Helping with the writing

My Chapters: Letters is an iPhone and iPad app that helps foster carers write the regular letter, keeps the photos and memories together, and binds every letter into a book for the child. There's more on the foster carers page. The first month is free.